Thursday, September 25, 2008

The Monster of Depression

where to begin...well, lets see. since my last post i broke up with my boyfriend, had my apartment get flooded from the one above, spent a lot of time traveling like crazy cause of my uncle who is sick with cancer.

i haven't been blogging like i should because i have been struggling with some depression. those of you who read this dang thing know how i have my ups and downs. it seems like more ups than downs but lately it has been the opposite. my head is not on straight. i have been reading my fellow diva blogs and trying to get inspiration. im training hard and eating right which is astounding to me since i have always wandered in the past when i felt this way and ditched my diet AND exercise for a cheeseburger and fries . it has been a while since i have felt so low. not sure why. had a talk with tony the other day and it helped a lot but i needed to take it a lot further but he was pressed for time. i sent an e-mail AND called but havent heard back from him yet. i hate calling him and bothering him :( so i wait......still waiting.........nope, he hasnt called me back yet...waiting......

anywho, i just feel like losing myself in a pint or two of ice cream. sometimes life is too hard. have i mentioned that life sucks? sorry for being a downer on my first post back in over, oh who the hell knows how long and who cares.

i got nuthin!


Anonymous said...

Oh Sweetie, I'm SO sorry to hear that you are down. Reading my blog, you KNOW I'm constantly up and down ALL THE TIME. So sorry to hear about your Uncle, I hope he isn't in pain. I'll be saying prayers for him. Did alot of your stuff get ruined in the flood? I hope not. I'm so sorry to hear that you broke up with your BF too. I thought things were going well. I know Tony has been really busy lately. This past year has probably been the busiest he's ever been. I hope he gets back to you really soon. I'm sending you an email too. Hugs and kisses girl!

B said...

from someone who knows- it will get better- surround yourself with good friends and don't beat yourself up for not follow a freakin diet plan when life throws you hard times

do something great for yourself- whatever it takes.

Tina said...

First of all {{{{{HUGS}}}}}}!!

Second of all...keep posting, we'll help you up, I promise!!

I hope you get your call from Tony, cause that always helps...but for me it is all about goals...I have to have a goal and just push myself through the steps to getting there, until I start loving the steps to getting there, ya know.

I can't even begin to tell you what I am going through right now, and keeping my head up is really a struggle, so I just rest on just being Tina, like Tony said to me long ago, if I am being me, that's all I really need!

{{{{{{{HUGS AGAIN}}}}}}}} We are here for you!

Lori said...

SCREW the ice cream, it will just make you feel more guilt. The best thing to do is not let it get to you and get back into the gym and take it out on the fitness equipment and have the best workout EVER!!! You deserve this. Don't let anyone bring you down. You were on top of the world where you belong and you need to get back there. I want to see you there.
A man who would flood your apartment isn't worthy of you anyway. You are better than that. It's his loss your gain. So go to the gym and hit it hard, eat clean and show yourself what you are made of. :)

Lori said...

WHen i said you deserve this...I meant to have a good workout. Not the mess. :)

Britishlady said...

Mia, my friend. I feel your pain. I'm not going to pretend that I know exactly what you're going through, but I feel your pain because I love you so much.

Life is this crazy emotional roller and downs come our way so frequently it's not funny, but you are worthy of more ups than downs. You are the one of the most beautiful chicks I have ever been blessed to know, and I know things are going to get better.

You'll get a call from the T-man soon girlie, and I know that will do wonders. He has this way of making us feel better without even having to say too much.

As for the's not worth me! This is coming from a girl who used food to combat every emotion. As Lori suggested...go for an intense workout. Hit it like you're mad at the treadmill. The endorphins will help immediately.

I love you me...reach out to me. I am ALWAYS here for you.

Lori said...

HHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYY, where are you? Do we have to come get you? WE will do it!!! Get back here.

Anonymous said...

Where are you??? You know keeping us in the dark, waiting to see how you are is not nice. We love you and wanna know that you're okay! POST WOMAN!

Tina said...

Girl it's been months...where are you? Give us an update :)