Thursday, September 25, 2008

The Monster of Depression

where to begin...well, lets see. since my last post i broke up with my boyfriend, had my apartment get flooded from the one above, spent a lot of time traveling like crazy cause of my uncle who is sick with cancer.

i haven't been blogging like i should because i have been struggling with some depression. those of you who read this dang thing know how i have my ups and downs. it seems like more ups than downs but lately it has been the opposite. my head is not on straight. i have been reading my fellow diva blogs and trying to get inspiration. im training hard and eating right which is astounding to me since i have always wandered in the past when i felt this way and ditched my diet AND exercise for a cheeseburger and fries . it has been a while since i have felt so low. not sure why. had a talk with tony the other day and it helped a lot but i needed to take it a lot further but he was pressed for time. i sent an e-mail AND called but havent heard back from him yet. i hate calling him and bothering him :( so i wait......still waiting.........nope, he hasnt called me back yet...waiting......

anywho, i just feel like losing myself in a pint or two of ice cream. sometimes life is too hard. have i mentioned that life sucks? sorry for being a downer on my first post back in over, oh who the hell knows how long and who cares.

i got nuthin!